It’s April 19, 1996, and remember how just two days ago the vibes were good? Man, those were good times. 

Today the Orioles went on the road to face one of the best teams in the American League. The vibes stayed good through two pitches, as Brady Anderson clubbed a lead-off home run. But then the vibes died. RIP vibes.

The Texas Rangers scored 16 times in the 8th inning alone. The final score was 26-7. Both teams are 11-4, but the gulf between the Texas and Baltimore seems vast.

“A T-ball score,” said O’s outfielder Tony Tarasco. (Baltimore Sun, p. 8D, April 21, 1996)

The Rangers blitzed O’s starter Kent Mercker, scoring 5 times in the first inning. The O’s actually rallied in the fourth, scoring five times to tie the game 6-6. But Mercker gave up three more in the fifth and the Rangers never looked back.

Everything unraveled in the eighth. Armando Benitez started the inning. Remember how his arm was feeling better? Well, not anymore. He faced three batters, giving up a single and two walks, before he had to leave with trainers. A lengthy stay on the injured list seems likely.

Jesse Orosco came in and had the worst outing of his epically long career. He got just one out, giving up 8 runs on six hits and two walks. It ballooned his season ERA to 27.00. “I’ve tried everything,” Orosco told catcher Chris Hoiles at one point. “I can’t get them out.” (Baltimore Sun, p. 8D, April 21, 1996)

(Spoiler alert: Orosco would pitch in 60 more games in 1996 after this debacle, and he would only give up 9 more earned runs the rest of the season.)

With the game firmly out of reach, O’s manager Davey Johnson turned to infielder Manny Alexander to try to get the final two outs. Alexander, who is not a pitcher, came in with the bases loaded and promptly walked in three runs. After a sac fly and another walk, he gave up a grand slam to Kevin Elster to make it 26-7. “I hate this,” Alexander said. Here you can watch it unfold:

It is the most runs the Orioles have ever given up. The previous high was 24 by the Blue Jays in 1978. “It’s amazing,” said Mercker. “It’s a fluke. I bet you anything — anything — that’ll never happen again. Ever.” (Baltimore Sun, p. 1C, April 20, 1996)

(Side note: I hope Mercker didn’t bet much, because in 2007, the Rangers broke their own record, and the MLB’s, by beating the Orioles 30-3 in Baltimore. Never say never.)

Johnson was mad after the game because he thought the Rangers were running up the score. 

“I’ve seen it all,” he said. “But guys tagging up from second with an 18-run lead. It’s ridiculous.” (Baltimore Sun, p. 8C, April 20, 1996) Personally, I would simply not get down 18 runs.

Texas manager — and former Orioles manager — Johnny Oates defended himself. “I did the best I knew how,” he said. “I didn’t bring the infielder in to pitch. We did it as professionally as we could. We took 3-1 fastballs down the middle. We didn’t have our runners going on 3-2 pitches. We didn’t try to make it a big deal, so don’t make it a big deal. I’ve got a lot of friends in that clubhouse. I don’t want to beat anybody 26-7. … I feel like I’m being made out to be the bad guy when they ran out of players.” (Baltimore Sun, p. 8D, April 21, 1996)

Texas star Juan Gonzalez had the correct analysis: “It was funny.” (Baltimore Sun, p. 8C, April 20, 1996)

Here’s the box score with the apocalyptic totals.

There is some better news in Birdland. Hoiles and his wife are expecting a baby. He carries a beeper so his wife can contact him immediately. “It could be any time now,” he said. “Family comes first, especially since this is our first one.” (Baltimore Sun, p. 8C, April 20, 1996)

The O’s also signed veteran outfielder Luis Polonia to a minor-league contract. He will report to Triple-A Rochester for now, but could eventually replace one of the Birds’ three utility infielders, Alexander, Jeff Huson, or Billy Ripken, who have combined for just four at bats this season.

“He’s a good hitter,” Orioles coach Rick Down said of Polonia. “He can play. He would be a definite asset if he gets up here.” (Baltimore Sun, p. 8C, April 20, 1996)

Polonia, who played with the Yankees and Braves in 1995, is a career .293 hitter and one time stole 55 bases in a season. 

Let’s add another brick for Brady. That’s 20 on the season for the Birds!

Brady’s leadoff homer inspired his sideburns to grow, but could not inspire the O’s.

Baltimore Orioles (11-4) at Texas Rangers (11-4), 8:35 p.m. ET

Starting Pitchers
BAL – RHP Jimmy Haynes, 0-2, 10.38 ERA
TEX – RHP Kevin Gross, 2-1, 5.02 ERA

The #1 movie in America on the weekend of April 19, 1996, was once again Primal Fear. The top new movie of the week was The Substitute, starring Tom Berenger. Contrary to popular belief, this is not part of the Major League cinematic universe.

A lot happened on the front page today. Israel attacked a UN peacekeeper camp filled with refugees in Lebanon, killing more than 90 people. The Senate cleared the way to pass a bill to bar loss of insurance coverage for people who get sick or change jobs. Boner pill advocate — and Republican senator from Kansas/1996 presidential candidate — Bob Dole wanted to force an amendment to prioritize health savings accounts, a measure that allows healthier/wealthier people to benefit and forces more costs onto the sick and working poor. His amendment was defeated.

But the biggest story of the day was at the bottom of the front page. After 151 years, Baylor University is finally ending its ban on dancing. School president Robert B. Sloan and his wife had the first dance, a salacious romp to Beethoven’s Minuet in G. 

Turns out, students had been dancing for a while. They went off campus to events advertised as “foot functions.”

The Sun helpfully clarifies that the ban was never written in religious doctrine, but that Baptist preachers warned that “praying knees and dancing feet are not on the same body.”

Anyway, sounds like a great place. Here’s a clip from Footloose.

Welcome to a recurring segment where I find fun things in today’s (in 1996) Baltimore Sun!

What Baltimore’s sweetest bosses are giving for National Secretaries Week.