It’s April 3, 1996, and it’s really happening! Stop the count! The O’s steamrolled the Royals from start to finish, winning 7-1 to go to 2-0 for only the fourth time since 1982. 

The Birds blitzed Royals starter Mark Gubicza, with five of the first six batters reaching and giving the O’s a quick 3-0 lead. They didn’t let up, and in the second, back-to-back homers from Roberto Alomar and Raffy Palmeiro made it 6-0.

In his first game as an Oriole, David Wells, who dealt with a health scare and poor performance all spring training, looked terrific. He stifled what admittedly should be a meager Royals offense for 7 innings, giving up just one run and striking out six. “I was a little nervous after the spring I had,” Wells said. (Baltimore Sun, p. 1D, April 4, 1996)

Really, he was just glad to be able to get out on the mound at all, after being hospitalized for an elevated heart rate a month ago. The on-field death of umpire John McSherry two days ago in Cincinnati definitely gave Wells some perspective. “That could happen to anybody,” he said of McSherry. “I’m just glad I got it checked out when I did.” 

There was a rarity on the field tonight when Bobby Bonilla, perhaps in a hurry to speed up the game, grounded into a triple play. Bobby Bo was again at designated hitter, and he told his agent that being stuck in the dugout and not playing the field makes him feel “like an animal in a locked cage.” O’s manager Davey Johnson brushed off Bonilla’s angst. “He’s my cleanup hitter. … It’s not like I’m trying to penalize him. He’s just got to learn how to house that energy he has in a productive way.” (Baltimore Sun, p. 6D, April 4, 1996) Aside from the triple play, Bonilla had two hits and drove in two runs. So he’s looking good.

With 1/81st of the season complete, the O’s are flying high. But veteran catcher Chris Hoiles is staying grounded. “It’s obviously way too early to look at the standings,” he said. (Ed. note: No it’s not! We’re in first place!) “But it’s never too early to see if a team is playing well. And we are. We won with finesse in the opener and with power tonight. This is a good team.” (Baltimore Sun, p. 6D, April 4, 1996)

With the first two homers of the season, let’s introduce a new feature. The 1961 Yankees, led by Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris, set the all-time record of 240 homers in a season. That record still stands to this day. The Birds have stacked the lineup with sluggers and could make a run at the record. We’ll track their progress here all season long.

Kansas City at Baltimore, 3:05 p.m.

Starting Pitchers
KC — LHP Chris Haney, 0-0
BAL — RHP Scott Erickson, 0-0

Today in yet another episode of “what could go wrong?” we have a front page story about a Maryland company, with the very ’90s name RealTIME Prizes Network, Inc., starting what it calls “the first U.S.-based service for ‘legalized gambling’ on the World Wide Web.” (Baltimore Sun, p. 1A, April 3) It offers “high-tech rollers the opportunity to win up to $1 million instantly online.” The founder, some guy named Robert Auxier, has a quote that echoes in the mouths of tech entrepreneurs to this day. “We stay within the guidelines of the laws but we push it right up to the limits.”

The reporter did something cool in this story and called to talk to someone on the hotline at Gamblers Anonymous in Towson. “The access people have today is ridiculous, and to put it on the wire like that, oh my, I can imagine people going broke,” said “George,” a former compulsive gambler who requested to remain anonymous. “I think the government should shut it down — period.” Well, George, I got some bad news for you about 2026.

Celine Dion is once again atop the charts for the third week in a row with “Because You Loved Me.” So let’s again look at some other charts. Today we’ll go across the pond, and see that the #1 song on this date in the UK is “Firestarter” by The Prodigy. I hope you got your dancin’ shoes ready for this wholesome ditty.

Welcome to a recurring segment where I find fun things in today’s (in 1996) Baltimore Sun!

Nothing could possibly be cooler than this.